For me, the last brush with idiocy came at a Valero Station where one red sports car and one yellow sporty car -- seemingly unconnected -- began engine revving at the gas pumps.

Burning rubber has now morphed into burning brain cells -- sorry, I'm according them too much credit -- as everyone else chews on the foul air and fetid gas prices.

Here's four other stages of vehicular lunacy easily glimpsed on the miracle millions of miles of California:

• No stinking red-light districts.  In Amsterdam, the curious and carelessly unhealthy will stop in the red-light districts. But we don't need no stinking red lights in the Valley -- just convoy on through.
• Stop-sign brushoff. Heck, if they wanted drivers to stop at those octagonal signs, they'd have hired a third-based coach to throw up a two-handed warning. As it is, just keep heading for home, earthly or otherwise.
• From every lane, turn, turn, turn.

Lastly, the sucking sound at the gas pumps has more people hopping aboard motorcycles and bicycles. Interestingly -- sadly -- Fresno's Community Regional Medical Center is seeing more motorcycle accident patients than a year ago, according to trauma program director Lynn Bennink, RN. But the sharper rise is occurring in bicycle-related injuries which are more than double what they were a year ago.

The Sacramento Bee reports that there were 429 motorcycle fatalities in California in 2006, more than any year in more than a decade; 9,765 motorcyclists were injured.

Bennink said the age of those hurt in motorcycle accidents has risen to about 47, compared to the upper 30s a few years ago. The Sac Bee quotes the CHP as saying the average age of those killed in motorcycle accidents is approaching 40.

People got to do what's necessary to feed a family, but that also includes taking safety cycle classes. And for those behind a four-wheeler or 18-wheeler, an extra bit of expecting the worst of two-wheeled rookies might save being part of a tragedy. And maybe regulators might consider adding anger management classes to ticket school.