Pity -- or praise -- the residents of New York City, my old hometown. As Californians are legally mandated to learn the wonders of "hands free" phone use while driving, the Big Apple is nuking trans fat in nearly all prepared food.

The full T-F ban takes effect July 1, with a 3-month grace period before chefs will be flogged with hefty ($2,000) fines for concocting anything with the tasty, artery-clogging substance.

Consider what's against the law in Nu Yawk City and/or Nu Yawk State -- the city in 1978 imposed a fine on dog owners who don't clean up after the pets' "public posturing"; in 2001, the state became the first in the nation to impose a "hands free" phone law; and in 2003 banned smoking in nearly all businesses. Now Nu Yawk City is the nation's first big city to take a crack at making heart-disease, obesity and, some might say, gourmet cooking and freedom of expression -- illegal. 

If that totally fries your cannoli, be of good cheer. The New York College of Technology, one of the region's top culinary schools, has established "Trans Fat Help Center" and a telephone help line for depressed food professionals for whom patience may be shortening as their once-delicious donuts droop.

You can learn more at www.notransfatnyc.org (Best grab a hot dog and a beer while you can at Yankee and Shea stadiums. Who knows what'll be illegal next year when the baseball teams move into their new digs.)