Box: From Naval Station Great Lakes, Ill.

Belongings: 22-year-old seaman recruit DJ.

Contents: MP3 player, Motorola cell phone, toothpaste, deodorant, Navy hat, backpack and day planner, pair of jeans rolled up to the knees (mmmm???) and a pocket handout of traveling instructions.

Warning from handout:

"Misconduct on common carriers and in their terminals may result in your arrest by civilian police. Arrest and confinement by civilian authorities is not an excuse for arriving late at your reception station ... When traveling by commercial air, do not use terms like "hijack," "gun," "bomb" or "explosives," even if you are joking. Airline officials and security personnel take these comments very seriously. Law enforcement officials will be called in every case to conduct a complete investigation while you remain in their custody. Remember, this is not an excuse for you to arrive late at your reception station."

(I'm guessing whoever wrote this really took seriously "Ferris Bueller's Day Off.")